6:55 p.m. - 2006-02-01
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chinese new year in bangkok.
quarrels, massages, shopping, buying stuff, eating, sleeping, buying stuff for pple, sitting in taxis, traffic jams, beautiful girls, swimming pools, puma shoes, dirty clothes, dirty mind, buddhist texts, the long road to the end, aeroplane taking off, late flights, readers digest torn into two, shared with brother, squeezing the nose and blowing air, dispelling pressure, tired dirty mind, praying to the 4 faced buddha on new years morning, all the prayers for the family, poor kids doing acrobatics for the buddha, in praise, praise? praise the human spirit, these people raise, i like believing in my religion though i am not religious, partly in pride because of what i am born, partly because i'd like to believe in a world where tired people can rest, partly because i want to be same as my family, our sullen faces, quarrels, massages, shopping, traffic jams, silence, thoughts of revisiting lust, glossy matte roads, tight police uniforms, tight student uniforms, smog stained walls, streetlamps soot, foreign lands, no river, buddha lying shining gold, caculating thoughts about baht, thoughts about the past, none too cheerful, another year, let others down but don't let yourself down! or is it the other way round? no, 2 times down, heavily tempted again. my two minds they fight each other constantly. keep oneself busy busy busy as always. i find it amusing if i perceive it this way, that i am but a spectator in this match, watching the 2 selfs fight, slugging and debating, fists and sadness, i find it amusing because just watching them fight, i can certainly delay time untill something else takes me away from the victor of the match.
the end.
