10:15 p.m. - 2011-12-30
2nd last day of 2011!
Sometimes i write just to forget certain things in my life, like writing down secrets in a paper, and then tearing it up.
Of cos i don't do such a dramatic thing. i am not a drama queen. i am a... drama whisperer. lol the kind of people who can only act out their full blown drama to an audience of one.
So anyway, sometimes i write to remember certain events in my life. Like today for example:
I went to the Page One warehouse sale with Lau today. We shared a long talk in a disjointed conversation just talking our thoughts and feelings out. When we managed to speak them aloud, we realise how silly or pessimistic we sound. Then we tell ourselves to watch it. Yet we are different in our approach.
The tiny wing of dreams in your hands, don't crush them with anxiety nor carelessly lose them when you take a break.
i don't know if i still have my dreams actually. i lost them carelessly. Like house keys or bedroom slippers.
Maybe they have flew off to see new lands, sleep in nice hotels, and will fly back shortly to land and get me some presents from the airport DFS, if they are so generous. i can only hope. And smile at how hopeful all this sounds like a funny real life thing.
i love going to the airport.
That was random.
Maybe airports are where people leave and arrive in your life. If you work in the airport, that's true eh.
i remember as a child crying in my grandmother's place in the afternoon when my mom left me there to go to work.
i wonder if that and my father's occasional absence when he worked as a sailor, created this need for affection in me.
Tell me, where is all that affection going to fill? You have a hole in you.
That's the band of courtney love.
How much affection does one need? i wonder if its measurable. How much affection does one give? As much as one needs?
okay... what i thought about just now, before this, was:
why do we need friends in our life?
Then i thought, so we can learn to see each other and ourselves. Clearer.
It's the 2nd last day of 2011 today... tomorrow is the last day. i have a thought for it to pass quietly and happily...
... into 2012. A new year, to start new jobs, new schools, start new chapters, start afresh, start your engines, and start yourself.
Dear 2012,
yoroshiku oneigaishimasu.
请多多指教。
Thanks in advance for your guidance.
