7:06 a.m. - 2012-03-27
i almost can't breathe, i have to remember to breathe
dear diary i almost can't breathe.
when i think about how all hope is lost.
i am scared
that whatever i do is useless
that even the bestest is not enough
that you will just treat me with pity
that i will always just be a friend
that when i tell you out of love
you will shun me
and it's because of that.
and not anything else.
if it were something else, i wouldn't feel so bad.
but because it was that, it's like a death sentence.
sentence my heart to death.
i wanted to be loved
i will never be loved
i told myself yesterday to encourage myself
that those who like me will like me, those who don't, no matter what i do, will most probably not. i should not be upset if no one loves me now. i believe that one day someone will.
i should love myself and judge myself not on whether anyone loves me.
If i have strived bravely and worked hard, overcome these obstacles, when i have really become someone i myself am proud of. Maybe then that will be enough.
Maybe then, you, or someone, will like me.
