4:27 p.m. - 2003-05-27
in the midst of the forgettable school holidays
In the midst of my forgettable school holidays,
today is 27th May 2003
quite a memorable day as itself.
i guess it can be ranked as the few dumbest things i did in my life as a human...
well eason chan is singing "ming nian jing ri" (this day next year) on my winamp... i dunno if i'd be happy or sad or laugh as i look back on this date next year. It'll probably be forgotten, archived between the archives of internet diaries.
there was this bengawan solo girl who worked at the shop in my town. i bought a few butter cakes from her in the past. my mom likes them. but i never eat them.
so anyway im attracted to this girl, ever since i saw her plucked eyebrows. beautifully weird.
so today my mom sent me on a cake buying errand, and i took the opportunity to write a cowardy note, planning to pass it to her later.
i didn't know what i was supposed to write, i hardly knew her, i had a feeling i was gonna fail... (wry mouth)
so i just wrote that i hope we could be friends. i kind of lied that seeing her makes me happy; i dun think im that simpleton. (wry mouth). i dunno. i didn't have the courage to talk to her directly in the shop. i'd stutter. i left my hp number in the note, hoping that she'd call.
yea, i passed her the note. and scurried away like dostoevsky's mouse-man.
so picture me there, walking the backlanes of the shophouses with a smile on my face, feeling proud of myself, having done something brave and stupid.
im not sure if she's attached or even knows how i look like: it all happened in a flash. i put the note on the counter and said "this is for you", without so much as a glance or smile; i wonder if perhaps i passed the note to the wrong person.
so here am i.
waiting.
and thinking of the million possibilities.
what if she can't read english, she's from china. maybe she doesn't even care about me. maybe i wrote my handphone number wrongly. maybe she tried to msg me but the network failed. maybe she'll msg me and i'd call her and we'd chat and discover that we have so much in common or complimentary and we'd be together. maybe she's married.
... i think by a few days more, and i have received nothing. i guess we can officially declare this a goner. And i dunno how am i ever going to buy butter cakes again. Maybe i'd wear a cap or protest when my mom sends me again.
these holidays are so sad.
wish me luck.
