11:03 a.m. - 2003-05-31
dumb stuff forwarded to me
this is a bunch of internet crap, boring shit dressed up as how-to guides for men
> Women are a strange species, so learn more u guys out there.....
>
> Scenario 1
> Dennis & Sufen were at a department store. She saw a teddy bear &
> exclaimed, "Oh! This is really cute!" He offered to get it for her,
but
she
> hesitated & replied, "No....it's okay..." He shrugged his shoulders &
moved
> on to look at something else. Meanwhile Sufen stood rooted to the
spot,
> feeling very miffed.
>
> His Interpretation
> I offered to get the bear for u but u said u din wan it.
>
> What She Means
> Of cos I wanted the bear, u IDIOT!! I din give u a firm "no", did I??
� U would insist on getting it for me if u were sincere abt the offer!
my interpretation:
The girl called Sufen is idiotic becos she squeals like a pig, at everything pink or fluffy in sight and say �cute!�. I�d advise Dennis to dump her, or get a lobotomy for himself so that the �cute� couple could communicate on the same level. But they should never have offspring of their own.
> @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
>
> Scenario 2
> Cheryl & Kenming were at a jigsaw puzzle store, & his was abt to pay
for a
> brand new 2,500 piece set for himself. Suddenly, Cheryl held out
another
> box & asked, " Do u think I should get thus puzzle? It's so nice, but
it's
> expensive...." "Well, u can always wait for the next sale, he replied.
> She refused to talk to him for the rest of the evening & the next 2
days.
> She continued to ignore him regardless of how many times he
apologized.
> " So, what do u want me to do?" he asked in desperation. "I can't tell
u
> what to do, can I?" she answered.
>
> His Interpretation
> I thought u were seeking advice on whether to get that jigsaw puzzle,
so I
> gave u my suggestion. U were really angry & I din know how to make up
for
> it. So I chose to apologize anyway, but u continued to be angry
regardless
> of the no. of times I said I was sorry. What more am I supposed to do
if
> "sorry" isn't enough?
>
> What She Means
> I was hinting that I wanted this jigsaw set, & I was hoping you'd get
it
> for me. I'm fed up b'cos u're so 'blur' u can't take a hint. If u're
> genuinely
> sorry, u would make up for ur mistake by going back to that store &
� getting that puzzle for me.
my interpretation:
People who play with jig-saw puzzles are psychos who stay at home all day and seem to enjoy torturing themselves, supposedly so that they could imagine themselves as patient well-mannered beings. The most cursed are those who do F4 jigsaws. Wait a minute. It should be those who do foresty or nature lake jigsaws. I do cut up photographs of our political leaders.
>
> %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
>
> Scenario 3
> Terence & Mealanie were out on a date. Slightly b4 dinner time, she
> casually mentioned something abt a nice little French restaurant
> nearby..... When dinner time came around, he asked her what she would
like
> to have for dinner. "Anything" she replied. They ended up in a
foodcourt &
> she did nothing but to sulk over a bowl of beef noodles.
>
> His Interpretation
> I asked u what u wanted & u said "anything". I thought u really din
have
> any preference, & were leaving the decision up to me. So I suggested
the
> foodcourt & u din object.
>
> What She Means
> I really want to have dinner at that French restaurant. That's why I'm
> telling u how good it's supposed to be. I just din want to say it
directly
� b'cos it's quite an expensive restaurant.
my interpretation:
my idea of a good french restaurant is a roadside stall, in France, selling american hot penises. All else are poseurs. By the way, S11 food courts are taking over our planet.
>
> *****************************************************
> Scenario 4
> It was 2am. Faizai & Rina had had a good time at a disco & decided to
call
> it a night. As they were hailing for cabs, Rina said, "It's quite late
now,
> I wonder if it's safe....." "Of cos it is" he assured her. They took
> separate
> cabs home, & she turned him down the next time he asked her out on a
date.
>
> His Interpretation
> I thought u were just asking for my opinion as to whether it was safe
to
> go home at that hour! I wouldn't have minded sending u back if I'd
known
> u'd wanted me to, but u seemed so self-assured & independent.
>
> What She Means
> I think u should be sending me home at this hour. If u had been a
> gentlemen,
� I wouldn't even have needed to drop that hint!
my interpretation:
if I were faizai, I�d send rina home and have sex with her on her parent�s bed. And then, in the morning, I�d place a roll of wrinkled two-dollar notes on the bedside and leave quietly.
>
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> Scenario 5
> SuWei & Vishnu were planning to get their close friend a birthday
gift,
> but couldn't agree onwhat to get. She spent hours trying to convince
him
> that her idea of a haversack was better than his suggestion of an
arcade
> game voucher. Finally, she said in frustration,"Why izzit always so
> difficult for u to understand what I'm trying to say?"
>
> His Interpretation
> Why do u keep insisting that I dun understand what u've said. I
understand
> perfectly. It's just that I don't agree.
>
> What She Means
� Why can't u just agree with me?
my interpretation:
yeah yeah, multiracial couple masquerading as racial harmonious singapore. And seriously, arcades are extinct already and haversacks are only for people who book out every Saturday. buy a PS 2, u stupid singaporeans.
>
> ###################################################
>
> Scenario 6
> Carl asked Fiona if it would be alright with her if he stayed at home
this
> coming Saturday to catch a soccer match, & she said,"Sure, go ahead."
She
> was unhappy when he actually did so.
>
> His Interpretation
> U said "ok", so I thought everything was okay
>
> What She Means
> Obviously, I din want u to stay at home & watch some stupid soccer
match!
> I was just trying to be magnanimous! U should be smart enough to know
that,
� & then ditch ur game to catch a movie with me.
my interpretation:
you know, I�d go with the girls on this one, I�d go and watch Titanic for the 3rd time with her, rather than stay home and wank, after beckham scores a goal and the match is over.
>
> """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
> Scenario 7
> Nizan had forgotten abt Yati's birthday until the very next day. When
he
> called her to apologise, she said "It's alright.." He hung up the
phone
> shortly after & continued to watch TV. She called him back shortly &
> started to cry
>
> His Interpretation
> I thought u'd already forgiven me for forgetting ur birthday, since u
said
> it was alrite...
>
> What She Means
> It's so not alrite! How could it be alrite when u forgot abt my
birthday &
> din even bother to make up for it! I'm so upset that I can't even
bring
� myself to explain. But u should know!
my interpretation:
as See boonlong once said sagely, �it is amazing, the events and activities that humans create to make their lives seem more lively and glamourous.� If I were Nizan, I�d bring Yati to a rollercoaster and we�d ride it till she screams to be reborn.
>
> &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
>
> Scenario 8
> Mary asked,"Am I fat?" Mike replied tha she was just slightly plump, &
she
> got upset.
>
> His Interpretation
> I thought u were asking for my opinion abt ur body size, & I was just
> trying to be honest.....Am I supposed to lie?
>
> What She Means
> I want u to tell me that I'm the most beautiful gal in the world, & I
> expect u to insist that u're being totally honest!
my interpretation:
lying is a cardinal sin. and jesus is a white guy.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Scenario 9
> He noticed that she was unhappy abt something, but din know what it
was.
> He asked her what was wrong & she said. " Nothing." He continued to do
> whateveer he was doing, & suddenly he realised that she was fuming
mad.
> Again, he asked her why she was upset. But once again, she insisted
that
> everything was fine.
>
> His Interpretation
> Since u said nothing was wrong, I had to take it that everything was
fine.
> How am I supposed to know what's wrong when u keep insisting that
> everything is fine?
>
> What She Means
> Of cos something is wrong! Of cos I'm upset! And dun tell me u dun
know
> what's wrong! Gosh, I can't believe u're such a hopelessly insentitive
> creature - u greeted everyone else so warmly when u arrived, but din
come
� to say hello to me!
my interpretation:
all the characters in these few stories have been dumbed down. this is my interpretation. but seriously, if the girls/guys that appeared in this story is true, then I think pornography is a godsent.
This is a sad day for fiction writers.
