11:33 p.m. - 2005-09-09
today is a bad day.
today is a bad day.
some inter departmental pinballing around about a tape. i put the phone down and said fuck you several times with two extended middle fingers and kicked the desk. Yes, expressing anger immediately when its called for really helps. I had already forgotten about this incident till i wrote the whole post and suddenly thought of it and so came back up here to add this paragraph.
got told the news about a second round of selections for the 25 frames thing. have to travel to some place at baghdad road. an ordishon, a pitching a concept and general personality examination. actually its not so bad. i guess. still a chance for me to back out.
then a friend whom i didnt really want to meet asked me to meet but in the end stood me up and didnt even have the courtesy to say so till i asked. yes, he forgot, thank you.
then met a dodgy person who sold me a ps2 set that doesn't work and doesn't reply my smses and calls. yes, thank you. I am already thinking thoughts of vengeance and how evil this world is. fuels my misanthropy. an expensive lesson in learning about shitty people and how easily you can be taken advantaged. maybe my father's mean world comments are not ungrounded after all.
on another less personal note, news came of terrible homicide case around orchard road and some park. i wonder if i would kill people if i hate them this much.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misanthropy
i realise i haven't shouted or cursed about the ps2 issue. i'm still silently cursing in a back-of-the-mind way, accumulating hate and bad feelings inside.
... in kamikaze girls there was this scene, this girl she was crying and walking on the road when the woman boss of the motorcycle gang rode by. the woman boss stopped, got off the bike and walked to the girl.
"why did you smile?! you were clearly crying just now! Why smile when you are feeling bad inside?! Why are you afraid?"
yes ronald, invert that smile and frown. i know you hate those brats. you're racist too. stop pretending.
