11:44 a.m. - 2007-06-08
help those who help themselves
http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/c10-emot.htm
Dr. Aaron Beck recognized that people who have chronic problems with depression, anxiety, guilt, and other negative emotions usually have a negative thinking bias. Research has supported the efficacy of cognitive therapy (called cognitive restructuring) that replaces these styles with more positive thinking.
Negative bias.
Negative bias is a tendency to look at the more negative side of some event, person, object, or situation. It gives a negative interpretation or a negative point of view for looking at a situation.
Instead think:
I will assume the best instead of assume the worst.
Positive self-fulfilling prophesies tend to create positive outcomes; negative self-fulfilling prophesies tend to create negative outcomes.
Negative explanations of my own or other peoples' underlying motives cause me to intensify my anger or other negative feelings.
Assuming the world is a hostile place creates fear, anxiety, and anger.
Negative selective abstraction. Selective abstraction means taking negative features of a situation out of context and exaggerating their significance. Usually it also means negating positive features. Example: A student who gets four "A"s and one "C," then focuses on the "C's."
Instead think:
I will list at least one positive feature for each negative feature.
I will limit my focus on negative features to constructive thoughts about how I can either accept or change the negative features.
Overgeneralization.
When we overgeneralize, we assume far-reaching conclusions from limited data. A student made a "D" on one test. She overgeneralizes, she doesn't just think "Well, I messed up on that one test. Instead, "I may not pass the course, not ever finish college." "I must be stupid and a failure." "My whole life is ruined."
Instead think:
I will put the negative event into its proper perspective.
I will look for the positive aspects of every event. When I make mistakes, there is always something positive that comes from that event.
These are just overgeneralized thoughts, not reality.
Thinking in extremes--exaggerating differences, dichotomous thinking. Everything is either black or white, wonderful or awful, always or never. It leads to exaggerated emotions.
Catastrophizing may provide an excuse for not being able to deal with it and get rewarded by others.
Instead think:
I will stop using overly dramatic or melodramatic language and replace that language with calming language.
I will learn to realize that there are almost never "never," "always," 100% events. Instead I will always try to be accurate in balancing out causation.
REVIEW OF SOME FACTORS WHICH INTENSIFY (or reduce) EMOTIONAL REACTIONS
In previous chapters, you also learned other underlying beliefs and skills you need for getting control of "runaway" emotions and prolonged emotions. But applying them to those problems can be tricky. Following are a few of the main factors which tend to magnify versus reduce our emotional reactions to events.
Wrong ultimate concern(s)--Instead, choose to put your Higher Self in control and make happiness your ultimate concern. We can only control our own thoughts, actions, and--indirectly--our emotions. We have varying degrees of control over the external world. We can influence how other people think, whether we will be rich or poor, healthy or sick, or many other things--but we cannot control them. If we make any external outcomes our ultimate concern, then we are automatically building our happiness on a foundation of sand. Because we never know whether or not we will have that which our happiness is dependent upon! Go to Chapter 3
People who experience frequent emotional problems with "panic attacks," depression, or temper almost always make their ultimate concerns something they have no control over! Most commonly that includes one of the following.
Family (or peers). They believe that they cannot be happy without winning the approval of their parent(s), other family members, or peers. [Or "internalized" family members or peers.] Go to Chapter 6
Love relationship. They believe that they cannot be happy without a "love relationship," happy marriage, or someone else who will "make them happy." Go to Relationship section
Career success. They believe that they cannot be happy without achieving a certain amount of career success.
Lifestyle. They believe they cannot be happy without some sort of imagined lifestyle. That may include a certain income, house, car, going out, traveling, or dress. Or perhaps it has to do with more intangible aspects of a lifestyle--such as freedom, living in a beautiful area, or participating in certain activities (sports, music, church, etc.).
Pleasure, thrill-seeking, or other types of "lower" temporary states. Fun and pleasure are great--except when they conflict with other, more important and long-lasting values. There is a chasm of differences between seeking overall happiness for self and others and temporary pleasures.
People who make pleasure or excitement their ultimate concern frequently have severe emotional problems, because they are not aware of this chasm. They are often especially plagued by feelings of guilt--due to their lack of priority given to other people or their own futures. Pleasure-seeking is often an underlying cause of addictive behaviors.
Negative view of the world or underlying fears of death, poverty, or other "disasters." These underlying beliefs and fears can affect us anytime we get a daily "reminder" that is associated with our underlying world view or fears. These underlying issues can make "mountains out of molehills." They can make even the most nonthreatening incident seem like a very negative sign of something much more ominous. Go to Chapter 4
Examine your underlying fears and tendency toward a negative world view. If they contribute to your emotional reactions, then re-read chapter five and begin acting on it.
Expecting too much--Use "abundance thinking" instead of "deficit thinking"--start with "zero expectations" of what you will receive. Perhaps you are just assuming that you will continue to have a lifestyle which is at least as good as the one you have had all your life. But even that can be taken away. Review chapter five--replace high expectations, deficit thinking, and "entitlement thinking" with zero expectations and abundance thinking. A person who uses deficit thinking is never happy with what they have--no matter how much they have. Go to Abundance Thinking
Low self-esteem--Develop unconditional self-worth and self-acceptance instead. If you have continued problems with any emotion, it is likely that you do not love yourself unconditionally. You probably have not been able to accept important subparts, limitations, or parts of your past. Whenever a current emotional issue touches upon one of these issues, its significance will be magnified. Use the suggestions in chapter six. Go to Chapter 5
External control--Replace with internal control. If you are too dependent upon others for decisions or for providing for your happiness, then this will cause another type of underlying insecurity. Believing that we are competent and in control of our own needs and happiness is essential for feeling secure. If you do not have adequate self-sufficiency, independence, and internal control, review chapter seven. Go to Chapter 6
Negative cognitive styles--use rational thinking instead! One client came in with a prolonged and severe fear of rejection. One aspect of the problem was that whenever anyone would say anything negative to him--even slightly disagree with him--he interpreted their response as severe rejection. He thought that inside they were really thinking thoughts like, "He's such a loser," or "He's so boring."
Not only did he think such negative thoughts, but he made his feelings worse by other negative thinking biases. He would start recalling all of the other times he has been rejected in his life (not recalling any of the times he has been liked). And he would project this into the future assuming that, "No one will ever really like me (or marry me)." People that tend to react to situations with more severe or prolonged emotional reactions tend to use negative cognitive thinking. In chapter six, we saw how we can develop negative cognitive styles that act as dirty filters. These include:
Negative bias--finding a negative point of view or focusing on the glass "half-empty."
Selective abstraction--finding and focusing on the negative aspects (picking the "C" among all "A"s)
Overgeneralization--generalizing from an individual case or small sample to the whole. (Assuming that I will fail the course and be a failure in life because I failed one test.)
Thinking in extremes--exaggerating the implications of things, overdramatizing effects.
