11:23 p.m. - 2010-10-25
that's why i wrote it here.
slowly the weight is being lifted...
after interviewing various people for the show i was doing, i was reminded that nobody is perfect, that everyone had something they were upset about at one point in their lives.
In the evening, after work, i was walking to the mrt when i passed by SOTA and there was the skinny tissue uncle who was standing by the pillars, 2 packets in hand, waiting for people to buy from him. I passed by him and thought i saw him grimaced. I thought he was quite pitiful but at the same time, i had already passed him, so how could i turn back and buy from him? It would appear too dramatic. And i looked behind me, there were lots of other people coming pass.
i stopped and pretended to check my handphone and stared at the light drizzle from the skies.
i walked up some stairs and walked on. Then i looked behind again. People were passing him by.
Then i thought what the heck, i'm really out of tissue now. So i turned back, took $2 and bought a packet from him.
Surprisingly he talked to me. And it was the human thing to do, i replied too.
"Hey thanks," he said, "i haven't seen you for some time. I wondered where have you been?"
"Oh... yea...er..I-"
"You studying in the university now?"
"Oh no, i'm working now."
"Ah i haven't seen you for sometime."
I was inching away but then I also wanted to talk more but then I wondered if people would think I'm kind to talk to the tissue uncle but then i didn't want them to think that.
So i smiled, he smiled. We baded farewell.
i walked away, slightly happy. I'm happy that i did a good thing but more because i had fought the twisted feeling of embarrassment inside me and did what i wanted to do.
I tore open the packet of tissue, took a leaf and rubbed my snort.
I crushed it into a ball and walked with it in my hand for some time. Until i saw a dustbin and tossed it in.
The truth was i had never gave the uncle any money whenever i passed him. For the past month since we moved here i think. But once, i saw a group of boys, sec school students tall but just boys, two of them walked to the uncle, gave him some money and shook his hand, and talked to him. I thought they were pretty cool.
"i haven't seen you for a long time." he said.
It's true. I haven't done any charity or even anything for someone else, without having the thought of having something back in return for a while.
i think i should celebrate this.
