11:25 p.m. - 2015-07-28
hey, it's me.
yeah, i just thought i'd write something tonight. Might not be much but i just wanted to write something, to tell you something, to have a voice again, or to hear my own voice again.
i have been silent for a while. Over here at least. I didn't really have anything much to say. And or i didn't want to tell you what's been happening in my life anyway. Too much failures or mistakes or missteps. Perhaps. Ego. Shame. Generally maybe, i don't want to be vulnerable to you.
But what i'll reveal here, in the darkness of the night, as i type in my bedroom while my mom is asleep in the same room, what i'll reveal here is well, this. this is what i'm doing.
my thoughts are all jumbled up incoherent and yeah tomorrow i think i'll go to the gym. for what? to look good. presentable. halfway decent. for health, for the liver, for my cholesterol levels.
well, recently i've been reading some books. i like reading... recently i bought some Chinese books and i've been reading them. Just modern lit stuff. Male protagonists. Fresh grads. Talking about how they don't understand life or just describing what they're up to. Some thoughts about life in general. That kind of stuff. Yeah well.
i hope i find my voice back. maybe i'll start writing here again whenever. to put myself out there. to say something, anything of substance. mostly shit. or inconsequential stuff. brain diarrhea.
so that's about it. just wanted to let you know.
we'll see. oh, we'll see.
good night.
