12:33 p.m. - 2017-11-16
So i went for an interview to teach
I just went for an interview to teach some media students next year. I was like a blabbering half-wit with inept English in the room, facing 3 interviewers. Frankly, I was intimidated by them, and how they're going to assess me.
If all goes well, I'll be teaching part-time next year. Hope I don't screw up under stage fright and be reduced to a stuttering idiot repeating the same few words again and again, as if I'm trying to make a better point, but in reality, I'm confusing my listeners.
What to do, I have to start journaling again, perhaps this will help me get my thoughts out, and give me confidence to speak up. I hope.
Anyway, so they asked me some questions, which along with some thoughts I've had recently, which I wanted to get down in writing, so I'm just going to write them out and put them up on my blog.
Let me put them down, including some other thoughts, so that I won't carry them around in my mind and accidentally drop/forget some.
The topics are:
1) what's weighing on my mind - this, getting these down. Trying not to look like a unstable person with aneurysm. Maybe i have dyslexia of the mouth. Rarrgghack uwqtxack!
2) how to improve my scriptwriting and writing in general
3) how to become a better teacher -- which reminds me to go online and search those terms. Stuff like 'Make it Stick', structure your lecture, make it relevant, connect the dots/connect theory to modern life, I do we do you do, talk slower think faster.
4) What's my career aspiration?
5) How to handle students who are not interested in learning
6) Copywriting vs Scriptwriting -- which one do I prefer?
7) Similarities between programming and scriptwriting.
8) Teaching thoughts -- you only perform as well as others expect/demand of you.
9) storywriting basics/topics -- 3 act structure, 4 act structure, setups and payoffs, character motivations, high concept, dialogue, emotional truths, etc
So many things, where do I begin?
Perhaps the personal (non-informative) topics are easier to handle, since I should know myself best, and my opinions about myself affect only myself usually.
Let's talk about our fears, by our fears, I mean my fears.
Imposter syndrome. Self-doubt. I think i'm an imposter. When the dean asked me what's my career aspiration? I was a bit stumped.
Truth to say, I don't have one at the moment, i don't have one on-hand during the interview, so I improvised and sort of reached into my old bag of career dreams in my head, and pulled out this wanker - "I want to become good at scriptwriting! So that, er, I can be good, and I can teach others."
An example is worth a thousand explanations. So you are convinced now I thoroughly crashed during the interview. Sigh...
What i love about writing is how you can jump to any point in time above to what you just wrote and rewrite/expand on it, and then come back here again so it doesn't look like your mind is flitting between things.
Which it is.
In that single line space above, in between lines, I just attended to my mom about a pop-up on her iPhone. And now i'm back.
Okay. Where were we?
Yes, what are my career aspirations? Where are they actually?
A few weeks ago, i wrote in my resume that my career aspirations is to work in the fields of media, education and technology.
It really is! As vague as that sounds, I think my aspiration is to work (so that I can earn money) in these fields which I think I enjoy or will enjoy (in the case of education or tech).
The unintended joke here is that that sounds like TED. TED = Technology, Education, Design. Yeah, the famous TED talks. Absolutely inspiring. Great speakers. Wish i'm like them.
Anyway, when people ask me what's my career aspiration, I do have a few answers. I mean, they are like dreams or goals, not really great ambitions.
I don't know if i should tell you. You might find it laughable, or you might not. I'm as reluctant to talk about it as bringing up an embarrassing thing you did in the past, like a stupid crush, or a fashion faux pas like wearing army camou pants to Orchard Road. Which I've done. Thankfully, i didn't wear a bandanna. And haven't in my lifetime. Never will, too. Unless I've gone bald.
My dreams or career aspirations were:
1. become a taekwondo instructor
2. join a band and make punk rock
3. write a feature-length script that gets sold & made into a Hollywood movie
4. earn above 3K in my job.
5. be rich enough that i don't have to work anymore
6. own a production studio and write/produce an animated series like South Park or Futurama.
These are my career aspirations! Look at them world, and laugh if you want, but they are mine!
I guess education existed up there in the form of a TKD instructor. haha.
I think 4 & 5 are what I'm striving towards now. 5 exists in the form of Toto and Big Sweep tickets.
I don't know what happened. Maybe my dreams got too big for me to put my hand on. More than I can chew.
I still harbour hopes of being in a band and playing great punk rock songs -- I'm mentally shelving this to when I retire and buy myself an electric guitar. Last night, I had a dream where I took up a guitar and tried to play for an assessor, but my hands just fumbled. You can say it's a premonition of what happened this morning.
You know, when I was working as a TV scriptwriter, I considered it training for the day when I would write a feature-length script. But i don't think i ever got to it, besides a story treatment about a boy in Laos who goes on an adventure to retrieve his cows that were kidnapped by alien space saucers.
Are failed dreams and regrets more poignant or do meeting obstacles and overcoming them make for a better story?
Wallow, wallow.
Do I aspire to be a good teacher?
Sure. I aspire to be good in what I'm doing. If i'm writing now, I aspire to be good at it. If i'm programming now, I aspire to be good at it.
The next question is, good enough or excellent?
I think to reach excellence, I'll have to devote time and commitment to it. And be willing to put in the effort to overcome obstacles, whenever they appear. It ain't effortless, that's for sure.
So, good enough or excellent? That's a question I can't answer. Sometimes I just want to be good enough. Because it's tiring to become excellent, or stay excellent.
I guess I still shouldn't give up though. It will take a little strategizing, aim for smaller goals/milestones, celebrate your victories, deliberate practice and so on.
Alright then. I'll write about the other topics another time. See you.
