6:46 p.m. - 2002-05-02
fairytale.
I�m in a fairytale
It was a green grassy hill and the sky was overcast with grey clouds like gigantic fluffs of dull cotton wool that lumped themselves and stretched as far as the eye could see. The beginning of an old fairytale in its typical countryside setting. A few sheep were grazing peacefully on the sides of the hill, unknowing of the grey pall of the sky nor caring about the weather. They were sheep, what do you expect. Well maybe some sheep in some fairy tales should be able to speak or walk or act in characteristically human ways but here, it is different. The sheep in this fairy tale ain�t gonna do any of those silly things. So anyway, the grass was green, the sky was grey and the sheep lifted up their woolly heads once in a while, looked at the rest of the rolling plains and bahhed themselves silly.
and who am I?
I�m not Jackie Chan that funny guy who jumps around like a monkey in his movies.
I�m not Toto Chan that innocent and sweet girl who jumped into the swimming pool naked.
I�m not the guy who took your orders at Burger King�s.
I�m not the girl acting in your favourite porn clip.
I�m not the corporate worker-bee taking the MRT home.
I�m not the boss who made fare-evaders uneasy with EZ-link cards.
I�m not Old MacDonald in his farm yee-yah-yee-yah-oh.
I�m not a sheep.
I�m a shepherd.
I�m a shepherd boy lying on my back in the grass, my strawhat over my forehead, chewing a whip of grass in my mouth, sucking the dewy sap and thinking of the people I am not but whom I think about once in a while.
I almost fell asleep, waiting for the rain to come so I can chase the sheep back to their pens.
~yawnz�
I�m too tired to elaborate. But anyway, this is my story, I�ve only enough time to tell it till the rain comes, so quick, take a seat in a circle around me, pat my sheepdog mr.gordon gently and fold up your legs.
This is my simple story�
Tuesday:
It is going to rain soon�that is good, not great, but good because it will wash away the little ashes I saw just now on the steps of the stairs. I went downstairs to buy stamps and mail the zine to lee and then okay. This morning go school for Physics Practical which was maybe a deceptive breeze. Anyway, I walked to ricky�s bus-stop to take the bus. And felt quite stressed standing all the way the busride to school.
Eyes hurt quite a bit when I got home. keetong and wenlong treated me to chocolate ice-cream which cheered me quite considerably as I was always depressed over my stupid skin. Even now the reflections from the mirror in the toilet is haunting.
Ghostfather leslie HPO
Felt hateishly rascist after reading about malaysia/singapore relations, slept in bed thinking about malays and analysed and tried to resolve my bad feelings which were spilling everywhere as I kicked the newspapers and stomped around as father called again asking about stock listings. Felt quite wrong becos he seldom does that to me. He is sometimes a nice father.
It hasn�t rained yet.
Wrote the period thing to lee in the small letter.
I think the smart think to say when people ask you why you didn�t buy any cds lately. Just say: I�m still listening to my old tapes. Instead of saying that nothing interests you that much to inspire you to choke up above ten dollars for it and you are a froggy in a welly. Anyway I kind of like listening to some of the old songs, let them sink in kindoff.
okay---I came home flashing V-signs to my mother talking on the phone, signs that mean banzai and japanese on tanks and cheeky coolness of kids having their photos taken, to me it was a sign of nothingness under a fa�ade of a bracy smile of metal and assurance: everything�s fine, I�m not gonna kill myself today.
the end.
yup.
~yawnz�
this is an old story.
Some words have been changed. Though some sentences have retained their original bad grammer and spelling. the ending sentence was added as an afterthought.
Goodbye.
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someone once said this, � a pessimist is never disappointed.�
I hope this balances up everything.
