10:22 p.m. - 2002-08-06
sub me in, coach! ......."suck my dick, son."
i saw the figure but
appearances can be deceiving,
thats when i heard the story behind by one of my spies...
the figure was attached outside by a chain of mistaken love and boredom? by an entirely deluded stranger.
the figure said "the figure can do what the figure likes...the chain is maintained by the stranger, the figure dun feel any thing to maintain the chain."
a strange chain. i think. but expectedly, isn't this what its about?
to play the field while having some reserves sitting at the benches holding iced cups of water.
my spies...my allies...if this is self destruction, even the enemies are doing it.
my great eye in the sky sees my well-meaning ally defect faithfully to the side of a figure everytime even when he knows the figure is chained up, outside but not in school?
"so what if she's attached?"
ally said.
"so what if im attached."
figure defends.
do you want to be seen as a loser or do you want to be in the scene, on the field playing the field.
i want to eat grass, smoke weed and deflower myself, thinking of the red dust dawn and the happy endings in fairy tales.
i want to be standing on a pedestal 40 days and 40 nights and coming down, i would say, i forgot to pack lunch.
essentially, do you know what you want and do you think you should want it and do you want to delay it or do you want to reject it.
i see a million substitutes for love and a million substitutes for boredom standing behind them and then a million substitutes for "winner" standing behind the millions and millions, stretching infinitely into beyond...and one little idea:
i wish i am wrong and i am wronged.
