9:36 p.m. - 2003-09-21
the man without a past
i have an insane urge to delete everything here.
to make a fresh start with my life.
this place is haunting.
ghosts of my past. but they made me who i am today. there were funny stories, there were sad ones, and also my fav: mixed ones.
i no longer feel like writing.
every entry feels trying. like im just trying to make my existence heard/read.
and then when it happens, life just sweeps everything off the table in real life.
what a whore life is.
that one is a laugh.
i'll be the man without a past.
im not the first nor the last.
to step in line and join the zombies.
maybe this will turn out for the better.
i dunno. what a drag. this baggage. like the first day of school when u appear and hope that everyone accepts you. but sooner or later, they realise what a dork you are. what a social retard. what a goofball, messing things and being a loser.
by george i sound like george in seinfeld.
what was i thinking?
by lord...
he will never forgive me.
he only looks down on me.
my lord.
(and i fake an outstretched hand hoping he'd reach out to grab it before i fall off the cliff. man, the movies can kill you.)
oh just now i was riding the bike at amk mrt station when up the slope the cranks twisted and broke out and the bicycle chain tripped out. it was all so funny becos i love that crank. its all cut-out and very lightweight u know. very good for flatland riding. whats flatland riding u may ask?
well flatland riding means u ride the bmx obviously on flatland and u do stupid tricks on it, its like a damm circus act except only those who can do it knows how tough it is to balance a monkey on the seat and ask him to step the pedals. i dunno how many whips i've whupped into tatters of beefjerky. really.
so my crank became a twisted piece of metal with teeth. and so i just pushed the bike round and round in a circle, sweating and pretending im a clown in a magic circus and im balancing and standing on the bicycle.
what an amusement that was.
now i have to wait one more month before i can repair that thing.
guess that means im running away from the circus to join the marines now.
shave my head.
and everything is passed.
