11:40 p.m. - 2006-03-21
general blueness
bad things happen quickly
god give me the patience to be patient.
i am deluded. i wander about with a hole in me. maybe i just need a distraction, a video game, a movie, someone else's troubles. i can't change how i feel, only what i do. and this is also the reason i did some wrong shit, and end up feeling like shit. a vicious cycle.
its a normal day today. nothing really bad happened. i just feel terrible. haunted. silent. i am deluded, i make up nightmares, i dream of tragedies, seas of despair, drowned.
general blueness he had a shoulder patch of stars. he gave out commands. he gave out guns. he said look north. and pointed up. i looked up.
and thats how i looked up.
we are commanded to be hopeful.
just carrying out orders sir.
the orders are to stay and guard this post. patrol the area. clean it up. await further instructions. talk to others. drive boredom. swat flies. swap stories. play ball. stay cool. be patient.
