10:58 a.m. - 2006-05-01
ah i'm really hungry now
jesus dun want me for a sunbeam, cos sunbeams are not made like me
kurt cobain is singing through my computer speakers as i sit down and read some essays about haruki murakami.
there is a sense of sad harmony in cobain's voice as he hits the refrain with his guitar, and i sing along.
i read the first few passages about the band Garbage and i remember the time i went to an artists' flat near Mustafa. There were huge paintings of LKY, lobsters, plate of steamed fish. And a girl who was tinkling with beakers and transparent containers of water, making a system of flowing water through layers of racks. At that time, I'm Only Happy When It Rains was playing on the radio.
the girl seemed entirely at home, as she explained to me and a friend what she was trying to do. i don't know what she was trying to do really. but it was ok.
sometimes i can blank out my mind, skipping over gaps of my incomprehension at other people's choices/decisions.
like in mid sentence, a person can utter out how he/she feels, "ah i'm really hungry now", saying the words her body is telling her.
i wonder if i should do this more often. Say to myself what my body is telling me. As i get tired and sleepy but still stay up late in the night in front of the computer.
