10:46 p.m. - 2013-10-06
to celebrate with some alcohol when I'm off the pills
I've been taking these pills, they are supposed to help quell the acne or sebum production on my face but they are also hell on my liver and i've been avoiding the sun but they've also been very useful in helping the skin renew itself. My scar from the mole removal is almost invisible now, i would like to think it's because of these pills.
Anyway, i've been avoiding alcohol or in the rare occasions when i had to drink with army mates or friends, i would make sure i wasn't on the pill that day or i wouldn't drink more than a few mugs.
Anyway, i hope to be off the pills soon, as soon as this week ends maybe, I'm not sure if I'd return to see the doctor again for another 2 month batch of pills. I've been taking these pills for a year, or two, and he told me that he would be cutting my dosage probably in the next lot.
I kind of miss going out with friends and being slightly tipsy. Actually i miss my friends too.
Anyway, this isn't a post for mushy revisiting the past or reliving memories.
i just feel a bit wound up like a spring. A rusty old spring in fact. I feel old. Disinterested in new activities yet feeling more of the same doesn't help either.
Work is alright, I hope I'm improving as the projects pass. But maybe i need to speed it up by deliberate practice.
I need to get out of my comfort zone more. To join new activities, things like clubbing maybe. That sounds stupid but it does take a certain amount of courage to go into a crowded club, and when you're there, that's it, you probably feel like returning home to sleep.
yet there's something about staying past midnight or 1 am, something about watching a live band from the crowded dancefloor, trying to dance a little by shuffling your feet or waving your hands a little in front of you like a t-rex. That's something. An experience you have to experience once in a while.
Every day i take the same route to work. Every week, almost, i'd drive to jb to pump petrol and damn, i always end up going the long way on their highway. I don't freak out anymore, i pray for the customs to have short queues and it's a small victory i am grateful to collect.
Buy some Big Sweep or Toto. That's a resolution.
Another resolution, to wake up earlier, and try to write.
Either that or write at night. Maybe here. Half of me is thinking, if i write in a word doc, nobody is going to read it, and i'll probably give up after a while. Another half is thinking, if somebody is going to read this, i won't write as freely as i want to. So what's the best solution? I think it should be: if you're reading this, please don't tell me you're reading this or respond in any way. Be still. Like you're watching a bird in the wild. Then i can just continue to write here like that oblivious bird. It's quite selfish of me, but please bear with me.
maybe one day i will keep a little budgie. Okay two budgies. They are cute birds. But they shit all the time, don't they? I mean you have to put newspapers on the bottom of the cage for them, that's disgusting and tiresome. I'll be like, Such beautiful birds!... Aw shit! I got to change their toilet paper again.
So anyway, what else is new?...
Ah that's about it... oh yeah, i saw the nike cortezes on sale at $71 yesterday night at Queensway. They were leather, not nylon... That's a downer. The leather feels hard and tough. Not so comfy. I don't like getting lines on the leather too. Ah i'll see what the internets have to say about the leather cortez. Alright, good night my friend.
