1:04 a.m. - 2013-11-09
I've heard more nos than yes
I have a negative voice in my head that comes from hearing more Nos than yes.
Here are some examples of what he tells me.
The best thing about our night out was me sending you home.
Thank you for sending me home, u msged me.
If i had to fight for attention with your handphone and Facebook during dinner, it's time to walk away.
If I feel disconnected from you,and the silence between us is the silence of having exhausted all we can say about us, it's time to walk away.
If I feel that I am the only person making an effort, to become a couple, if I am the only one who thinks it matters, it's time to walk away.
If you feel guilty whenever I do something nice for you, it's time to walk away.
If you are happier and treat me nicer after telling me to be friends, it's time to walk away.
If I still don't heed the signs,it's time I walk away.
It's high time.
If I feel sad about the whole thing, if I feel that nothing I can do, that everything I do is no use, it's time to walk away.
If I feel u do not treasure me like before, where once u showered care and attention, and now it's out of guilt, it's time to walk away.
These are the voices in my head... They come from hearing more nos than yes.
I wish to hear yes one day.
I have learnt it won't come from you. I am still accepting it. One day I will say yes to your no.
Yes, I understand.
Yes, I accept it.
Yes, I will be okay.
Yes, I won't be sad.
Yes, I slept well last night.
Yes, I'm fine with it.
Yes, I'm alright.
Yes, you may say no.
What else can you say?
It only takes one reason to say no.
I've heard a lot of nos.
Okay not a lot. But enough to hear it inside my head. Until it shuts up when I sleep.
Good night.
