12:05 a.m. - 2014-02-15
self-respect, self-love, then respect and love others.
i shall stop giving advice about love from now on.
Don't look to your friends for advice about love. Look to them for consolation instead. Because all advice about love, except the advice to wait and see, is probably useless. Only you know the answer, but perhaps you're blind to it. And if so, you're wilfully blind to it. Even if your friends point out to you what you can't see, you won't take their advice anyway.
And if they tell you to take action, perhaps you might. And the results, if disastrous, will not only ruin your love course, but your friendship too.
So friends are for consolation because that's they have the knack of pointing out what's good and inspiring about you, since they've spent some time with you.
So what happened tonight...
I guess there are three things to think about.
1. Friends
As close as i am to my friends, i think there should still be a healthy distance. Or rather mutual respect. Everyone has their own experience and opinion. As much as you want to reach out to help someone, it also depends on whether they want it or not. Sometimes people rather want to continue in their comfort zone. I understand too.
2. Love, or the pursuit of. And intimacy.
As Osho mentioned, everyone wants intimacy. To strip themselves bare, to be naked, to show their wounds to someone else. Because wounds need to be aired or open, in order to be healed.
About this, i think back to the times i tried to be intimate. And to the time, J shared with me about her problem. How i reacted. And in time, how I shared with her mine.
3. An education about love perhaps.
i never really know much about love. I thought i did. But i guess i don't.
i think i've been naive or simple-minded about the reality of life.
i can only learn by loving. I need to fall in love more. With myself, with other people. So here goes 2014.
self-respect
self-love
